“La Dolce far Niente” - Slowing Down, Italian-Style

Words and photos by Makenna Kaminski (unless otherwise noted). Makenna is our Jetsetter Journalist studying abroad in Sorrento, Italy, during Spring semester 2023.

For most of us, slowing down is a difficult thing. For the Southern Italians, however, moving slowly is part of their nature.

It's a different way of life - moving with the flow of life instead of forcing everything to happen fast. The people native to Italy are used to walking slowly, opening their shops when they feel like it, and (literally) stopping to smell the roses.

Where most Americans might pass by their friends on the street with a hurried wave, the Italians might stop and talk for an hour. Neither is right or wrong- it's just different. And it's amazing to experience the contrasting culture.

Getting coffee or a meal in Italy is an event. When Italians grab a coffee from the bar, you'll never see them get a coffee in a cup to go. Rather, they'll drink it at the bar, either chatting with friends or the barista for far longer than it takes for them to drink their tiny cup of espresso. You'll also never see an Italian on a laptop or doing work in a bar here either- if they're sitting they'll surely be talking, passing their time with friends, family, or even the strangers they run into along the way.

When you go to dinner in Italy, it's even more relaxed. Prepare to take your sweet time and spend a few hours sitting down.

In the U.S,, being a server means working to flip your tables quickly so you can get more customers seated and make tips. In Italy, however, the servers are paid by hourly wage instead of tips. Thus, they have no reason to rush you out the door. In fact, it's quite the opposite.

Italian restaurants love it when their tables linger longer and order slowly. I think it's part of the culture- when you sit for a longer time, it's like a compliment for the restaurant. This way, they know that you're truly enjoying your meal rather than rushing back out the door.

When you sit down, the waiters will often come to you slowly and not rush your decisions. Then at the end of the meal, you'll often find yourself struggling to get the bill from your waiter and leave rather than it being the other way around. They just naturally expect their tables to sit and talk for hours, and it's their own polite gesture to avoid getting in your way.

When it comes to daily life in Italy, it seems to work the same. People move slower, pause longer, and take more time for others around them. Especially when it comes to friends and family, you'll never see a local pass up the chance to stop and chat for a good while.

This is the essence of "la dolce far niente"- the sweetness of doing nothing. People are much more inclined to spend hours lounging, drinking aperitivos or taking walks rather than running from place to place.

While work is still an important concept in Italy, it doesn't seem to be the core of life like we see in the States which most Italians are quick to admit. To them, work is an important aspect of their lives, but it's not what they live for. Instead, they live for their family, relationships, food, and experience.

I was shocked to see how often you'll find people simply wandering the streets here at any time of day. It can be the middle of a Tuesday and still you'll find Italians (young and old alike) taking walks together, seeming to get a quick break away from their work.

They love their daily walks. Many times they'll go in the morning when they take their coffee, during siesta, and of course after their large dinners. With so much walking you'd think that they'd surely have a destination in mind. Yet, you almost never see one of them in a rush. Being late here is completely normal, and people really don't seem to mind.

Living in this mysterious, slow culture, it makes one wonder how we can adapt this to our own lives. How can we start living like this - slower, calmer, and more carefree? How can Americans - known to the rest of the world as work-obsessed, fast-moving, busybodies simply slow down?

I think it all begins with mindset. The main difference between our two cultures lies in the contrast in our upbringings. Italians are taught to move slower, take more pauses, and live this calmer lifestyle. Meanwhile, Americans are bred to work, achieve more, and get as much done in a day as they can.

I think that the best way to embrace "la dolce far niente" is to try and reverse this mindset. We need to retrain our brains to allow us to take more breaks, breathe, and relax during our day-to-day.

It's helpful to try and appreciate all the sweet little things in life. "La dolce far niente" translates to "the sweetness of doing nothing" and it refers to noticing these little things in life and joyfully dwelling on them. Whatever it may be, it's an art to find those little things that make you smile and start taking the time to do more of them (and not feel guilty for doing so).

Even more, to live this sweeter lifestyle most of us crave, it's important to start learning to be happier with less. Not just with tangible things, but with things like our productivity, work lives, etc. We have to accept that we can't do everything in a day like many of us try to do. Rather, we should try to be happy with what it is we can naturally accomplish and start placing our happiness first. Whether that's taking a few moments to breathe or saying yes to your friend's lunch invite when you "have far too much to do", it's the little steps that'll start to pay off.

After my two months living abroad in Italy, I've already found myself becoming far more relaxed than I'd ever been in the States. Where I used to find myself horribly stressed, burnt-out, and having no time to see my friends, I now spend countless hours doing all those things I used to wish to do.

Now, I find myself spending my time chatting with my peers, going on long walks, writing, reading books, and especially spending time with my friends. I think I now spend more time with my friends than alone, and I have come to love just doing the simplest things with others - like grabbing coffee, walking, grocery shopping, or doing schoolwork.

I feel like this more relaxed version of myself is almost a complete 360 from what I felt like a few months back and in all the best ways. I can truly say that I feel as if I have the "la dolce far niente" mentality to thank just for that.