Flying home after studying abroad is a complicated time full of mixed emotions for most people. There’s usually a lot of excitement to be able to see family and friends you’ve missed, reunite with pets, eat foods you’ve been craving, and sleep in your own bed.  

This is the “easy” bit, the first two stages of six that most people cycle through on their return. (Go Overseas gave names to these stages that we’ll share below because they are great descriptions that make it easier to understand.)

Stage 1: Returning Home. You’re on a high with lots of excitement, a bit of nervousness, but generally feeling an enthusiastic anticipation for being home again.

Stage 2: The Honeymoon. You’ve arrived and you’re soaking up the comforts of home, enjoying everything you’ve missed, catching up with everyone, and happy to be back.

But once you settle into the realities of daily life, it’s normal to go through reverse culture shock. Some people will feel this more intensely than others, (just as some people felt homesickness more intensely than others while abroad). You might find yourself hitting these more difficult next few stages…

Stage 3: Confusing Frustration. Things that never bothered you before might seem annoying or wrong. You find yourself comparing everything to your host culture.

Stage 4: Bittersweet Nostalgia. You intensely miss your host country, your study abroad friends, and your host family if you stayed with one. 

Stages 3 and 4 can take some time to pass, and may even resurface later. But with time, things do become easier again. You are able to settle back in.

Stage 5: Acceptance & Engagement. You accept your life back home and re-integrate, start re-engaging with activities you enjoyed before, feel a stronger connection to your friends again, and though you still think of your study abroad experience often, you’re not missing it as painfully as you once did.  

Stage 6: Mastery. The rollercoaster of highs and lows has become less dramatic and you are content in your life back home. You may feel a sense of wanderlust and feel ready to start planning another trip.    

What do some of these more difficult feelings look look like practically? And what might help?

• You just had a life-changing experience abroad and you find that no one is quite as interested in hearing about your adventures as you are about sharing them. This can feel disappointing. It’s hard to explain what studying abroad can do to you to someone who has not experienced it themselves. Stay connected to your study abroad friends and talk about your memories with them! Share some photos and stories on social media or keep a journal to help you process your thoughts. You can also reach out to your study abroad office which should be able to put you in touch with other study abroad alumni who will understand what you’re going through.

• You might be bored. While you were studying abroad, there was always something exciting on your doorstep, a new world to explore, challenges to conquer, and trips to plan. Try to approach your own city in the same way you approached a new place on your travels: with curiosity, and with all of your senses engaged. Is there anything new you can discover at home or within a short drive?

• You might start to miss things that you enjoyed when you were studying abroad: the view from your bedroom window, the gelato you ate while walking along the Arno, the accents or the diversity in the city. Write these things down. Try to save stash a bit of money away when you can and plan another trip for the future if you can.

• Your friends might seem different. While you were away, your friends have had different experiences. They may have experienced changes in one way or another or friendships may have shifted within your circle. This is normal, and probably not something that would be as noticeable if you were involved in the same day-to-day activities. Try to be open-minded and accepting.

• You might feel like you don’t fit in anymore. You had an experience that changed you in a way that no one seems to understand. You notice faults in the lifestyle you used to live and perhaps your own values have changed after being exposed to new ways of seeing. Your friends might have in-jokes you don’t get or new relationships with someone you have yet to meet. Give yourself time to regain perspective, catch up and settle in again.

• You may feel sad that your study abroad experience has ended. Keep in touch with people you met while you were there. Keep learning a language if you started to do that while abroad. Read books or watch movies set in the city you lived in. Do something creative with your photos or your videos that you can always look at when you want to return to those days. Help other people have a similar experience by volunteering at your study abroad office, or consider becoming one of our alumni jetsetters, helping us spread the word about ASA and creating content to share with future study abroad-ers. Some students even study abroad a second time!