Navigating the Emotional Rollercoaster of Reverse Culture Shock
Having recently waved farewell to another wonderful group of study abroaders, we know that there is likely a bit of an emotional rollercoaster ride on the horizon for them. As travellers ourselves, we’ve been there too. So, we want to let you know, we’re here for you.
Everyone processes homecoming a little differently, but you might expect it to go something a bit like this:
DISENGAGEMENT. As the transformative experience of study abroad comes to an end, you pack your bags, buy gifts for your friends and family, re-visit your favorite places, say goodbye to new friends, and prepare yourself to head home. You start thinking ahead. You get in touch with friends to make plans for your return. You might have a welcome home party to look forward to. You’re excited to see everyone, to share your stories.
INITIAL EUPHORIA. You’re home! You get to eat that mac and cheese you’ve been craving, catch up with your friends and family, hug your dog, drive your car, and sleep in your own bed. The comforts of home are welcome and you’re very happy to be back in a familiar place with the people you love.
DAMPENED EUPHORIA. This stage is sometimes also referred to as the “irritability and hostility” stage. This is the hard bit. You start to feel like a foreigner in your home country. You feel frustrated that no one seems to be very interested in your study abroad stories. They can’t seem to relate or understand the impact it had on you. They might quickly flip through a few photos, but lose interest in the details. You may feel isolated or alienated because you spent a lot of time away from your friends while their lives went on in the same way as always, and now you find you can’t relate to some of their inside jokes and they can’t relate to your travel stories. You might feel bored or critical of your own culture. Your friends and family might get annoyed when you compare everything to your host country. You may find what you used to think of as normal now stands out to you—for example, the size of everything in the supermarket, the way people greet each other differently, how people drive everywhere, etc. You might even resist adapting back into your home culture because, through the lens of your experience, you now view it as flawed.
GRADUAL READJUSTMENT/REINTEGRATION. Slowly but surely, you start to settle back into your life at home. You start to analyze what you learned while you were abroad and find ways to implement small changes or habits in life to reflect this. You begin to embrace your routines again. You become less critical of your own culture. You start to build new memories with your old friends and family and feel like you fit in again. You find your place and begin to clarify ways in which the “old” you and the “new” you can mesh to become just you.
Remember that what you are feeling is normal. Even frequent travelers experience thoughts like these. There’s an estimate that about 70% of people who have lived abroad experience some form of reverse culture shock when they come home.
You spent a lot of time learning in and identifying with another culture, perhaps even communicating in another language. You’ve had experiences that have impacted your life in a significant way and these can shake your sense of identity. You have changed while the world you came home to has likely not changed so much. Your worldview has expanded. You’re more interested in, and open to, other cultures and ways of life. Your political views may have even changed.
Columbia Business School conducted some research that suggests living abroad is connected to increased clarity of self-concept; with time, you may find you have a stronger sense of who you are.
But in the meantime, here are a few tips for navigating this initial period of readjustment:
GIVE YOURSELF TIME. Remember that reverse culture shock is normal and it is a process. There are some estimates that it takes about 3-6 months to adjust to life back home, but everyone is different and it depends on a number of factors from the amount of time you spent abroad, to your age, to the degree to which you felt your experience abroad was positive or negative.
TAKE CARE OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH. Talk to people. Do something that grounds you and helps you process and reflect. You might try Headspace for meditation, go out for a run, walk in nature, journal, put your phone in another room for a while, notice moments of wonder in everyday life, dance, or paint. Being conscious of getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, lessening your sugar and caffeine intake, and drinking enough water can all help too.
REACH OUT. Our Assistant Director of Student Welfare & Alumni Affairs, Dr. Katie Roller DiDonato, welcomes a 1:1 chat with you if you could use someone to lend an ear as you readjust to life at home. She gets it! She studied abroad and understands that reverse culture shock is real and has a lasting impact. Send her an email at katie@academicstudies.com to set up a convo.
HAVE PATIENCE WITH PEOPLE. Everyone will ask you “How was it?” when you return. You might find yourself saying “great!” with no further explanation because you can’t sum it all up in just a few sentences. Or you might find yourself talking about study abroad all the time and seeing your friends’ eyes glaze over because they simply don’t relate. Try to remember that, while they surely are happy for you, they didn’t have the same experience themselves and it’s hard for them to leverage the same level of excitement.
CONNECT. Find the people who do want to talk about study abroad. Connect with other ASA alumni or study abroad alumni from other programs. A study abroad advisor at your school may be willing to organize a meet-up. Stay in touch with friends you made abroad, whether local to your host country or from schools across the U.S. You can also email mary@academicstudies.com for an invitation to our alumni Facebook group.
COOK. Food is deeply connected to memory. If you’re missing the meals you ate while abroad, find the closest ingredients you can and head to the kitchen. The internet is full of recipes, but you could also reach out to your host family, your site director, or a local friend you met to ask for recipes.
MEET INTERNATIONAL STUDENTS. Seek out the international students on your home campus. As someone who knows first-hand the challenges of adjusting to another country and making friends, you can take the opportunity to help them feel welcome. You may even find someone from your host country to connect with and perhaps a way to reengage with your second language.
VOLUNTEER. Offer to help your study abroad office with pre-departure orientations or study abroad fairs. Your experiences will be valuable for students who are about to embark on a study abroad adventure of their own. You might also offer to go to a local middle school or high school to do a presentation on your study abroad host country or lead an after-school language class.
BE A TOURIST. Look at your home country, city, or surroundings through the eyes of a tourist. Notice things you never noticed before. Try a restaurant you never tried before. Discover something new. Or head further afield and visit a state you haven’t been to. Go fishing in Alaska, hike one of the Great American Trails, or gather your friends for a road trip and visit the National Parks. Continue your adventure on home turf.
REFLECT & LEVERAGE YOUR EXPERIENCE. Integrate your study abroad experience into your LinkedIn profile and your resume. Consider how you can talk about it in a job interview. Think about your personal growth, the way you managed group dynamics, problem-solving skills you gained, language acquisition, etc.
LEAVE REVIEWS. Head over to Goabroad.com, Study Abroad 101, or Abroad Reviews and leave a review about your experience to help a future study abroader make a program decision.
SEEK OUT RESOURCES. The U.S. State Department has some useful information on returning after life abroad: https://2009-2017.state.gov/m/fsi/tc/c56075.htm. You may want to pick up a copy of Craig Storti’s book, Coming Home or Cate Brubaker’s Re-entry Roadmap or delve into the research of Janice Abarbanel on the mental health impact of living abroad on young travelers: https://www.idrinstitute.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/mbm_arbarbanel.pdf. This short film by Rachel Earnest, a study abroad alumna, dives into the emotions of returning home after study abroad: https://vimeo.com/67705218.
FOLLOW ASA ON INSTAGRAM. Follow us on Instagram @ASAStudyAbroad and re-live your memories through the next group of study abroaders. We LOVE to hear your stories, so please do share them with us in the comments.
BECOME A CONTENT CREATOR. Do you have a phone or camera full of photos and videos from your time abroad? We have a gift card scheme for students and alumni whose content we post on Instagram. Get in touch for details!
ENTER THE ASA PHOTO CONTEST. Find out about how to submit your photos, and about our prizes, at https://www.academicstudies.com/photo-contest.
BECOME A JETSETTER. This is our alumni ambassador program. You can help other students learn about study abroad and encourage them to study abroad with ASA. It’s a great way to stay connected to your experience, share your stories, and offer advice. You can commit to one-time events or to a project of your choice. Email hello@academicstudies.com to learn more. This experience can also be added to your resume!
BOOK A TRIP. If it’s financially viable, think about studying abroad a second time (with a discount!), or simply planning a visit back to your host country in the coming years so you have something to look forward to.
[While reverse culture shock usually unravels itself over the course of 3-6 months, sometimes we need a bit of extra support to get through it. If you find yourself stuck in the dampened euphoria stage, if you experience strong anxiety or symptoms of depression, do be sure to seek out professional counselling or therapy.]
Take care of yourselves and stay in touch!